Pretty Shiny Things

4 notes

If I sing this very softly and slowly, Scout loves her new lullaby.

Straight out of Compton,
A crazy mother-father named Ice Cube
From a gang called
Ninjas with Attitude.

When I’m called off
I got a seesaw off
Squeeze a Tigger
And babies are hauled off.


You too, boy, if you’re frank with me
The police are gonna have to come
and get me off your astronaut
that’s how I’m going out
For the pink mother-fathers that’s showing out

Ninjas start to mumble,
They wanna rumble,
Mix ‘em and cook ‘em
A big pot of gumbo

Goin off on a mother-father like that
with a cat that’s point at your astronaut
So give it up smooth
Ain’t no tellin when I’m down for a jack move

Here’s a turtle rap to keep you dancing
With a lime record like Jim Hansen
An AK-47 is not cool
Don’t make me act a mother-father fool

Me and you can go toe-to-toe, no maybe
I’m rocking ninjas out the box daily
Weekly, monthly, and yearly.
Until those glum mother-fathers see clearly
That I’m down with the capital CPT
Boy you can’t play with me

So when I’m in your neighborhood
You better truck
Cause Ice Cube is crazy as a duck

As I leave, believe I’m stompin
But when I come back, boy
I’m coming straight outta Compton

2 notes

Just call me Miss New Booty. That’s right, I bought Booty Pop. And I don’t eeeeeven care. They fill out my jeans so I don’t have to wear a belt, thank god.

Just call me Miss New Booty.

That’s right, I bought Booty Pop. And I don’t eeeeeven care. They fill out my jeans so I don’t have to wear a belt, thank god.

1 note

Ben and I love to say “Gear-ree” the way Amber does. I was surprised I didn’t find this on the Internet before I finally decided to make it.

Ben and I love to say “Gear-ree” the way Amber does. I was surprised I didn’t find this on the Internet before I finally decided to make it.

9,244 notes

animalstalkinginallcaps: MOM, THIS IS GREG. HE IS MY NEW BOYFRIEND AND WE ARE IN LOVE. SAY HI, GREG. … HONEY, IS THIS ABOUT HOW NOBODY ASKED YOU TO THE WINTER FORMAL? FIRST OF ALL, MOM, NO, AND SECOND OF ALL GREG JUST SAID HELLO TO YOU SO THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM. HONEY, PLEASE. IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. THERE’S ALWAYS NEXT- I WON’T BE COMING HOME TONIGHT, MOM. OR ANY NIGHT UNTIL PROBABLY APRIL, BECAUSE I’LL BE STAYING HERE AT GREG’S. PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE NOW. GREG, SAY GOODBYE TO MY MOTHER, WHO IS LEAVING NOW. … THAT WAS VERY NICE OF YOU TO SAY, GREG. YOU HAVE EXCELLENT MANNERS. … I LOVE YOU TOO.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

MOM, THIS IS GREG. HE IS MY NEW BOYFRIEND AND WE ARE IN LOVE. SAY HI, GREG.

…

HONEY, IS THIS ABOUT HOW NOBODY ASKED YOU TO THE WINTER FORMAL?

FIRST OF ALL, MOM, NO, AND SECOND OF ALL GREG JUST SAID HELLO TO YOU SO THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM.

HONEY, PLEASE. IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. THERE’S ALWAYS NEXT-

I WON’T BE COMING HOME TONIGHT, MOM. OR ANY NIGHT UNTIL PROBABLY APRIL, BECAUSE I’LL BE STAYING HERE AT GREG’S. PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE NOW. GREG, SAY GOODBYE TO MY MOTHER, WHO IS LEAVING NOW.

…

THAT WAS VERY NICE OF YOU TO SAY, GREG. YOU HAVE EXCELLENT MANNERS.

…

I LOVE YOU TOO.

4 notes

Dear Husband. The man that always insists to carry our baby. The man that brings me home a sweet every time he runs an errand. The man that reads the same books I read so we can talk about them. The man that makes me bread and butter for breakfast and sometimes dessert. The man that pretends he has never heard the story I have told a dozen times. The man that will never say an unkind word about an ex. The man that changes most diapers. The man that sings Disney songs with me at the top of our lungs. The man that turns thirty-two today and has two very lucky girls in his life. Happy birthday, my darling dear husband.

Dear Husband.

The man that always insists to carry our baby.

The man that brings me home a sweet every time he runs an errand.

The man that reads the same books I read so we can talk about them.

The man that makes me bread and butter for breakfast and sometimes dessert.

The man that pretends he has never heard the story I have told a dozen times.

The man that will never say an unkind word about an ex.

The man that changes most diapers.

The man that sings Disney songs with me at the top of our lungs.

The man that turns thirty-two today and has two very lucky girls in his life.

Happy birthday, my darling dear husband.

Notes

New Years Eve has never been my thing. There’s not a lot of eating associated with the holiday and it takes a lot of effort for me to stay up past 10pm. Plus, any NYE plans I’ve ever had just never lived up to the hype. Champagne shouldn’t be just for one night, anyway. This night is not lacking in reflection, though. This year has been amazing. I spent half of it waiting for my daughter to arrive and the other half being a mom. A MOM, you guys. It still blows my mind that I am someone’s momma. I was put to the test physically, mentally, and emotionally this year. Not only did I survive, but I thrived. I’m a better person for the choices I made this year. And that’s something to be very happy about. Happy New Year.

New Years Eve has never been my thing. There’s not a lot of eating associated with the holiday and it takes a lot of effort for me to stay up past 10pm. Plus, any NYE plans I’ve ever had just never lived up to the hype.

Champagne shouldn’t be just for one night, anyway.

This night is not lacking in reflection, though. This year has been amazing. I spent half of it waiting for my daughter to arrive and the other half being a mom.

A MOM, you guys. It still blows my mind that I am someone’s momma.

I was put to the test physically, mentally, and emotionally this year. Not only did I survive, but I thrived. I’m a better person for the choices I made this year. And that’s something to be very happy about.

Happy New Year.